Anyone But Him
by iftheworldwasonfire
Summary: If it was anyone else, we would've been okay. Not fine, but okay. We would've been able to move on, we would've been able to continue with our normal lives, or what is typical in the life of superheroes. We would've gotten over them. Final Chapter Up.
1. Robin: Lifeless

**AHHH! THIS IS MY 20th STORY! AHHHH! So, this is a bit sad...it's in Robin's POV...yeah, I think that's about it...**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, never will, you guys know the drill.**

**Warning: Character death**

**Rated: T, for character death.**

**Pairings: ****None.**

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><p><em><strong>"Losing someone when you're young is the greatest pain anyone can face." <strong>_

**~ Amory Blaine**

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><p>If it was anyone else, we would've been okay. Not fine, but okay. We would've been able to move on, we would've been able to continue with our normal lives, or what is typical in the life of superheroes. We would've gotten over them.<p>

If it was me, I'm sure everyone would probably miss me. Bruce, Alfred and Babs would be heart-broken. But, the team would be able to get over my death. They would keep fighting, because that's what we do. We fight, we fight and never give up, no matter what the risks, no matter how we desperately want to run away.

If it was Aqualad, the team would be in ruins. For a while. He's the glue that keeps us together, the small flame of optimism in a dark pit of despair, the shoulders you can lean on if you need support. We would've ripped a bit at the seams, but we wouldn't unravel or fall apart. I would probably have stepped up as leader, but I wouldn't be able to replace him completely.

If it was Superboy, we would all sink into a depression, and the feeling would linger with us, even when we returned to our work, though leaving a bitter taste in our mouths. We'd miss his wildness and a bit unpredictability, because that's what we love about him. We all know he'd give his life ten times over for each and every one of us. He loves us, and we love him.

If it was Artemis, we'd be spiritless and cold without the wild light and energy that practically _glows_ from her agile frame. We'd feel empty without her endless supply of clever quips and her ability not to talk crap from anybody. We would lose a bit of the fight in us.

If it was Miss Martian, we wouldn't be able to move for _weeks_. She's so innocent, so sweet, so caring...she's like a mom to all of us. We'd miss her adorable quirks like facepalming herself and saying, "Hello, Megan!" We'd miss her quick little impulses of friendliness, like baking cookies for us when we all get done with school. We'd miss the bright smile she always gives us that warms her russet colored eyes.

It could have been any one of us. It _should_ have been one of us. Maybe then we'd be able to keep fighting, keep going. But it wasn't one of us. It was _him_.

It was _Wally_.

We won't ever hear his mischievous laugh ring in our ears again. Never again will we see the bright smile that illuminates his face. We will never be pranked by Wally again, we will never get wrapped up in those strong arms for a bear hug again, we will never smack away his hand as he tries to snitch a cookie from the piping hot tray M'gann has just set out. We can never see, hear, or do any of this ever again.

We won't be able to move on. We _can't_. Because Wally kept us _sane._ He kept us from doubting our every move, kept us from thinking we were a stupid kiddie team. He kept us _happy_. He was overconfident, if not reckless, and made us laugh so hard we swore our ribs cracked. He was the little annoying brother, and I was his partner in crime.

Now, it's different. The cave never echoes with laughter anymore. The refrigerator is fully stocked with food all the time. Nobody has even cracked a grin. It's just so _empty_ without him. So _lifeless_.

Because that's what Wally did. He gave everything life.

Resulting in the loss of his.

**Hmm...I may or may not do a follow up on this...make it a longer story with views from each of the characters...tell me what you think!**

**~lilmissf**


	2. Artemis: Weak

**Hi YJ fans! At first I wasn't going to continue this...but since the majority of you wanted me to continue this...I'M CONTINUING IT! Whoa, that was repetitive...anyways, this is Artemis' chapter. Anyways, there won't really be any pairings in here, it'll be more like friendship or brother/sister, so don't ask me to do Waltermis. Please. Don't. (****I don't really like it.) ****Thank you so much for your lovely reviews!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned, Red Arrow would be on the team, and he would stop acting like he has an arrow shoved up his ass all the time. OH! And he would wear that ADORABLE suit he wore in **_**Targets**_** more often!**

**Warnings: A bit gory, character death (obviously)...that's about it.**

**Rating: T, 'cause of the gore and character death...**

**Now...ON WITH THE STORY! Artemis POV, dreams/flashbacks are in italics...that's 'bout it...**

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><p><em><strong>"We are not strong enough to stand up against endless grief..."<strong>_

**~Charles Frazier**

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><p><em>"Oh, God," Wally sobs, lying spread-eagled on the ground. The canary-yellow top of his uniform is now almost all crimson, and a puddle of scarlet surrounds his lithe body; his limbs are twisted into unnatural positions, dotted with purple bruises and speckled with cuts that stubbornly leak out more blood. I try to look away, try to look away from the huge, gaping cut on his stomach, showing off his intestines, a bloody mess of gore. I try to look away from his face, his lips twisted in pain, tears dripping down his high cheekbones, which are now stark white, try to look away from his glazed-over green eyes. I try. But I can't. It's like I'm being forced to watch this horror show.<em>

_ "Wally," says Dick, his voice cracking, tears dripping down his childish, innocent face. "Hang in there. Just...hold on. You're..." he swallows hard as more tears pour down his face, leaving glittering, pearly tracks on his face. "You're going to be fine."_

_ "It's not working," Wally moans, shifting slightly to the left and wincing hard. Dick takes his hand, takes it in his small, pale white one, trying to soothe the red-haired boy. "Why isn't...why isn't it working?"_

_ "What is working, Wally?" Dick chokes out, and by this time I've gotten over to them. "What's wrong?"_

_ "My speed healing," Wally says, but the last word is gurgley, and before I have time to react, a wave of foamy red spurts out of his mouth and drips, drips down, staining his lips, drop sliding down onto his exposed neck. I gasp, horrified, as Wally lets out another strangled cry, and more crimson streams out. A miniature waterfall. _

_ 'GUYS!' I scream telepathically, trying to get to Aqualad, Superboy, Miss Martian, anyone! 'HELP! Wally...he's...he's...' I slump to my knees next to the broken speedster, flinging my bow to one side and my quiver to another, my body giving up the fight. My fingers stretch out, shaking, and I stroke his blood-matted hair, sobbing as he cries out in pain, his lips twisted into a God-awful grimace._

_ "It's going to be okay," Dick whispers, his words faint, leaving his lips then trailing away like fragile smoke. I can't tell if he's talking to Wally or himself. "It's going to be alright."_

_ "I love you guys," Wally rasps, another drop of blood dripping down his face. Why? Why him? "Tell the others. Tell them...tell them I love them. Tell them I love them more than anything else in the world. And-" he coughs, and blood spurts up against my face, causing me to flinch, "-tell Uncle Barry," his voice falters for a moment, "tell him...thank you. And that I love him and Aunt Iris _so much._"_

_ "Wally. Don't do this," Dick cries; one of his tears splatters onto Wally's blood-drenched lips. "Don't leave us. Please!" Wally only smiles before his lips quiver and the expression fades on his face, his eyes glassy-_

"ARTEMIS!"

I wake up screaming, tears streaming down my cheeks, screaming so hard my lungs feel like they're on fire. I've probably been screaming the entire time, and I continue to scream, the shrill shrieks reverberating all around my room. Someone grabs my wrists, wrenching them away from my face, and wraps their arms around me, enclosing me in a warm embrace.

For a moment, I think it's Wally. But it isn't. It's Aqualad, murmuring soothing things in his home language. I wish it's Wally. And for a moment, I let myself pretend that it's him, that when I break away from the much-needed hug, I'll see his smiling face, see his sparkling eyes, see his unruly red hair. I pretend that I'll hear his voice.

_"Jesus, Artie, way to be over dramatic!"_

My screaming slowly fades to heart-wrenching sobs that shake my entire form as I huddle against Aqualad's chest, my tears soaking his uniform. I shiver against him, and in turn he wraps his arms tighter around me.

"You were having a nightmare." Robin's uncovered, startling blue eyes narrow. This isn't a question; he knows it, and I know it. Nightmare? So I was asleep? I honestly can't tell anymore. My whole life is a nightmare right now, whether in the real world or not. Then his lips quivers. "He's not coming back." The young boy slips quietly out of my room as more tears drip down my face, some entering my lips. They taste like salt. Blood tastes like salt, too. Blood...like the blood that poured out of Wally's mouth, the blood that leaked out of the gaping rip in his stomach..._oh, God, no._

"Sorry," Kaldur whispers in my hear, his warm breath tickling me. "He is...not...over W-"

"Don't say his name," I hiss.

"I apologize," Kaldur says.

"No, I'm sorry...I should've...that was really rude of me...I just..." I spit out half-completed phrases listlessly.

"Are you okay?" Conner asks, showing a rare moment of compassion.

I pause before I answer. Truth or a lie that everyone know is false? "No."

"Do you want me to make cookies?" Megan inquires, and I look at her thoughtfully, tears still distorting my vision. She hasn't made cookies since...since..._no, Artemis, don't think about it, don't remember..._

"No," I reply after a moment. "I'm...fine. Thanks for asking." My voice is hollow and raspy. _Just like Wally's was..._ "Could I...maybe..." my voice sticks in my throat and I have to swallow hard before I continue, "could you guys...possibly...like..." I can't even finish a sentence.

Aqualad nods, his gunmetal blue eyes reflecting the grief, sorrow and misery in mine perfectly. "We understand. You wish to be left along. But if you need us," he pauses for a moment, "please, do not hesitate to ask." I nod, looking down at my dark covers, more tears dripping down my face ask one by one, they file out the door silently. When in shuts, I close my eyes, just sitting and taking deep breaths to calm myself down, pressing my hands over my face.

I sit like this. For a long time. Hours, maybe. I can't tell. All the minutes and the hours and the days...they just blur together. One never-ending streak of tears and pain. It's been like this ever since his death. Blurry and disoriented. Maybe I'm just losing focus. Losing focus on life itself. I decide that I should probably walk around to get blood pumping through my legs, which have gone numb. Not that I can tell. My body is numb everyday now. I can't feel anything anymore.

I open my door quietly, inhaling sharply as it squeaks irritatingly. Cautiously, I peer around in the darkness, trying to make sense of the discernible blobs of darkness. When my eyes have adjusted, I step lightly out into the hallway, closing my door softly behind me. I walk down to the end of the corridor slowly, my footsteps making soft, padded noises that fall into a steady rhythm. Until I'm about a foot away. Then I stop, my body jerking backwards. I stare at _his_ door, which leads into _his_ room, which is where _he_ used to sleep. Oh, God. I can't do this. I can't do this.

But I step forward and place my hand on his doorknob, flinching when the frigid metal presses against my skin. _Frigid like his cold, dead body..._I open it, only cracking it open a fraction at first, but then I open it another inch, and another, until I'm staring into an open doorway. I stand there for a long time, contemplating anything and everything, before I take a small step inside. I shut the door behind me, and relax when it clicks, the usually small noise breaking the silence loudly. Then I turn around.

My throat burns and my eyes tingle as I bite my lips to try to keep from crying again. Two sets of bunk beds with navy covers, one on either side of the room. All normal. Except these beds are immaculately made, cold and unwelcoming. His body hasn't warmed them since he died...

A sparkle of gold catches my eye as I survey the normal looking room, and I turn slightly, my heels grinding into the floor, towards his shelf of souvenirs.

_"Souvenir!"_ His joyful voice rings out inside my head, laughing and carefree, and I immediately wince. Pushing the thought to the back of my mind, I look carefully at each and every one of the objects he had collected: a mechanical eyeball, a red hood-looking thing, Cheshire's mask, Dr. Fate's helmet, among others. When I see an ornate arrow with green feathers at the end, I tense.

It was the arrow I used against A.M.A.Z.O., using my quick thinking and even quicker archery skills to save him.

This time, I wasn't fast enough.

I wasn't strong enough.

And I couldn't save him.

**Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks!**

**~lilmissf**


	3. Superboy: Rage

**Hi! *waves* I'm back with a new installment of **_**Anyone But Him**_**! Thanks for all of the lovely reviews! I really appreciate them. This is going to be the last update for a couple of weeks 'cause I'm going to be on vacation, so I hope you like this! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own, never will. Wow. What a surprise.**

**Pairing: None.**

**Rating/Warning: T for bad words and an angsty/angry Superboy.**

**Song: I listened to **_**Behind These Hazel Eyes**_** (whoa, old song) by Kelly Clarkson while writing this. Weird, 'cause it's about romance...**

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><p>"<em><strong>Broken up, deep inside,<strong>_

_**But you won't get to see the tears I cry,**_

_**Behind these hazel eyes."**_

**~Behind These Hazel Eyes (Kelly Clarkson)**

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><p>I pound my fists into the weak little punching bag over and over again, not following a system, or even training really, but just letting anger and rage flow through my knuckles as I punch it until it finally breaks, slamming to the ground like a fallen comrade.<p>

But I keep hitting it, screaming and yelling like a feral animal, because I'm so _angry_, so _furious_ at _everything_ right now that it's a wonder how I don't explode from all the pent up emotions coursing through my body right now.

I can't even tell what my anger is directed at. Wally, for leaving us, or Artemis or Robin, not being able to keep him alive, or Kaldur and Megan for not getting there quick enough.

Or me. For not helping him when he needed it the most.

"Dammit, Wally, why did you have to die?" I whisper hoarsely, as tears drip down my cheeks, and a sink to my knees, suddenly exhausted. "Why? Why did you have to be the one to go? Why you?" More tears fall, blurring my sight. I brush the salty drops away impatiently and painfully, raking my nails across my indestructible skin before clenching them in my raven-colored hair, ripping at the strands painfully. I just want to feel pain. I _want_ to feel how he did right before he died, I want to _be_ him right before he died, I want to be the one who died.

But I can't save him, and I can't take the place of him. All I can do is train and train and train, hoping that next time I can be strong enough to save one of my teammates if they need my help, or if they're hurt, or _if they're about to die._ Next time no one will die. I won't allow this to repeat itself _ever_ again.

All I can do is train all day, not eating anything, not resting at night, just train and train and hope that I'll actually be able to _feel_ something, _anything_. I want to be able to feel _pain_. I want to be able to feel something other than the emotions inside my body, I no longer want to be indestructible.

He wasn't indestructible. He didn't have the strength I have, he doesn't have the invulnerability. But he had his charming personality, his light-hearted demeanor. He had his quirky sense of humor, his brilliant ringing laughs. He had a strong sense of loyalty to his friends. He had everything that really _mattered_. He had people who loved him and still. He had a great personality. He had speed. But he just wasn't fast enough this time.

And this time was the only time when it really mattered.

I keep forgetting that my friends are _breakable_. That they can get hurt, or _die_. That their life could be ripped cruelly away from them. That they can _leave_ me within a second. I keep forgetting about this kind of thing, because it was never taught to me in the first place. The G-Gnomes didn't teach me about love, or caring. They didn't teach me about the guilt and remorse that ripped apart your heart, or the insufferable sadness people feel when someone they love dies.

I wish they had.

Because now, without any kind of warning, I'm experiencing all of these things first-hand.

**So he goes from anger to sadness to remorse. Oh, Supey. Sorry it was so short and not my best work. I'd love reviews, though!**

**~lilmissf**


	4. Aqualad: Sorrow

**Hi! I'm back. Thanks a bunch for all of the lovely reviews! I really appreciate it. So...right now I'm going to skip to the new chapter, but there's a really important author's note at the end, so please read that. Thanks! Enjoy! Oh, and italics are flashbacks.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YJ. If I did, the eleventh episode would already be OUT.**

**POV: Aqualad **

**Warnings: Rated T for character death, you guys know the drill...**

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><p>"<em><strong>So far away, I wish you were here<strong>_

_**Before it's too late this could all disappear..."**_

**~Keep Holding On (Avril Lavigne)**

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><p>It happened again. We messed up, and the mission was failed. <em>We<em> failed. Again. I do not know how many times it has been now. Too many to count. If we keep doing this, the team will be disbanded.

_Permanently._

The thought makes my blood run cold and a feeling of despair make it's presence known in the pit of my stomach. But maybe...maybe it is a good idea. We are not acting like a team right now, and I most certainly am not acting like the leader. We are acting like...solo heroes, forced to work together with each other.

This is not how a team is supposed to act.

But I need to face the truth: this team has not been acting like a team ever since Wally died. We've been falling apart, unraveling. Soon it will come to an end.

I heard the Justice League talking about it. They keep saying that it is only a matter of time before we snap, or break. They say that more people on the team are going to get hurt, or end up like Wally.

Dead.

Maybe they are right. We cannot function without Wally on this team. We cannot let go of him, and sometimes that creates very bad outcomes.

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><p><em>'Artemis, you and Robin take the left flank after M'gann has scouted out. Superboy, after they've rescued the hostages, knock out the guards,' I say telepathically. <em>

'_Okay.'_

'_Got it.'_

'_We understand.'_

'_And then, Wally and I will-' my words stop suddenly, and we all freeze, eyes darting over one another. Artemis steps back, her face white and her steely eyes wide and glistening slightly. And then her foot catches a trigger, which quickly sounds a loud, obnoxious klaxon-like noise._

"_Shit," Robin and Superboy hiss in unison as a bright light surround us, showing our hiding spot to the whole world, and hordes of thugs charge in our direction._

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><p>"<em>What were you <em>thinking_?" Batman bellows, his eyes narrowed to slits. "You could have been killed!"_

_My teammates and I stand stoically in front of the entire Justice League, either studying the floor or ceiling intently._

"_I-I...apologize," I say after a moment of silence, and all of those glares and intense looks are turned towards me, causing my words to falter for a moment. "It was all my fault...something I said..."_

"_Don't say that," Robin hisses, his head snapping towards me. "It's are fault. We shouldn't have frozen up like that."_

"_What did Aqualad say?" Green Arrow asks, fighting to keep his voice calm. The answer to his question is icy cold silence. All of us refuse to answer, not wanting to say his name out loud._

"_Wally," Artemis finally replies, her voice cracking. Everyone immediately stiffens at the mention of the cheerful speedster's name._

"_You need to get over him," Batman says, but his tone is a fraction softer and gentler than it normally is._

"_We _can't_!" Robin screams out. "We'll _never_ be able to get over him. Why can't you understand that?"_

"_We understand-" Black Canary tries to reason with him, but that sets Artemis off._

"_No!" she yells. "You will _never_ understand what it's like! He's gone! He's never coming back, and all you can say is 'you need to get over him'?"_

"_If you can't focus on the missions...then I'm sorry, but we will have to disband the team," Martian Manhunter says in a neutral tone, and the superheroes quickly file out, leaving the five of us in stunned silence._

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><p>Our entire team dynamic is thrown off without Wally. There is no one to reassure us that we are going to 'totally own' this mission. No one here to move us out of the way of danger. No one to be there for us all the time and constantly remind us how 'awesome' we are.<p>

He was _always _there for us, even when we did not need him. He was constantly at out sides, making sure we were alright.

And yet...the one time he needed us most, we were not there for him.

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><p><strong>I hope nobody was too OOC...Robin and Artemis might've...so, anyway, Adoglover5 brought up writing Barry's thoughts on Wally's death. What do you guys think? Maybe I'll write a short drabble as a companion piece to this fic? Leave your thoughts in a review!<strong>

**Secondly, I read a fic a long time ago and I've been looking for it, but I can't find it. I'm starting to think it was a dream or something...but it's a friendship fic between Robin, Kid Flash, and Miss Martian. Kid Flash has a dream that he ran so fast that he was all alone, and after he woke up, he went to Robin's room to check that he was still there, and after that went to the kitchen where he was confronted by Miss Martian. Robin woke up too and joined them, and then Kid Flash told them about his nightmare. After that, he went back to his room. Miss Martian and Robin had a chat about Wally and his powers, and then one of them says something like, 'at training he's breaking records left and right.' If someone could tell me the name of this fic, I would REALLY appreciate it, because I can't find it and I'm starting to think I'm going crazy.**

**Thanks a bunch! Oh, and please review!**

**~lilmissf**


	5. Miss Martian: Regret

**Hi guys! Thanks very much for all of the lovely reviews. It made me extremely happy :). Well, I just got back from vacation, but I'm leaving tomorrow at 5 a.m. in the morning, so I figured I should probably update. Also, you guys said that you wanted Barry's point of view on this whole thing, and some of you even wanted Wally's. At first I was going to do just Barry, but then inspiration struck like lightning and I figured out how to do Wally, so I'm going to do both. They'll be the last chapter, so the chapter after next. Okay, I've rambled on for long enough, let's get this chapter STARTED!**

**Disclaimer: !ecitsuJ gnuoY nwo t'nod I (backwards writing. haha.)**

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><p>"<em><strong>Is a house really a home<strong>_

_**if your loved ones are gone?"**_

**~Coming Home (Diddy Dirty Money)**

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><p>"<em><strong>And a house is not a home<strong>_

_**When the two of us are far apart."**_

**~A House Is Not A Home (Dionne Warwick)**

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><p>I can't set foot in the kitchen anymore, and I can't bake anymore. It's not even that I <em>won't<em>. I literally _can't. _Because there are _so many_ memories of him there. Because that's where he hung out most. Because...that was his favorite room.

He loved hanging with his friends. He loved chilling out and trying out my new recipes, no matter how garish or disgusting they seemed, no matter if they were burnt to a crisp or dreadfully undercooked. He always had a compliment to say about it, he always tried to keep my spirits up, even if the others shuddered in disgust when they tried to choke it down.

The kitchen used to be a place of home and happiness, where we could go and share our worries or even let go of them entirely, and the others would help us through it, give us a shoulder to cry on, lend us a strong hand to help lift us out of a funk. It used to be a place where we could finally take off our masks and let our true selves shine through. It used to be a safe, comforting place. A place of unity. Of family. Of togetherness.

And look what it's like now. None of us can even go in there, we can't even talk about it or _look_ at it, because his spirit's presence so strong, and we don't want to be reminded of what happened to him. Because if we do, we're all going to go insane.

Even walking by the room, even if I'm not actually in it, I can still hear his cheerful voice ringing out.

'_Careful, Superboy! They're hot!'_

_ 'Mmmm...not as hot as you, babe!'_

_ 'Thanks...Wally...that's...uhhh...sweet.'_

_ 'Not as sweet as you, sugar.'_

Those words, which once flattered me and made a bubble of happiness rise up in my body, now bring tears to my eyes. I shot him down so many times. So many. I was completely infatuated with Superboy, not even sparing the happy-go-lucky speedster a second glance. I didn't even tell Wally how much I loved him, how much I _needed_ him. How much he meant to me.

And now...he's gone. I can't tell him any of those things. I can't tell him how much colder it is here without his radiant, sunny personality lighting up the room. I can't tell him that without his presence here, Mt. Justice doesn't feel like a home. I can't tell him that we're not a family without him.

I miss him. So much.

And I regret not telling him.

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><p><strong>Short chapter is short. And kind of crappy. But I really wanted to get an update out for you guys. I might revise it when I get back. Thanks for reading! Please review!<strong>

**~lilmissf**


	6. Red Arrow: Numbness

**Hi peeps! Back from camp. It was a lot of fun, but now I have about a million mosquito bites...must...not...itch...anyhoo, new chapter! And yes, I added Roy, because he rocks. And because he's Roy, there will be swearing. Also, I'm botching the canon a little by saying that Wally's parents are terrible. So...just be warned. Barry/Wally POV will be next chapter. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: WHY MUST MY LIFE BE SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT? I DON'T OWN YJ!**

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><p>"<em><strong>How can you see into my eyes like open doors?<strong>_

_**Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb.**_

_**Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold, **_

_**Until you find it there and lead it back home."**_

**~Bring Me To Life (Evanescence)**

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><p>I stand silently, about fifty feet away from Wally's funeral. <em>Wally's funeral.<em> Those words sound so foreign in my mind, and they leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I can't accept that he's gone. I know he is, but...I keep thinking, somehow, some way, he's still alive, even when the proof of his death is lying in a coffin that's right in front of me. My mind won't comprehend that we'll never go on patrol together again, or play videogames together, or even see how many marshmallows we can fit in our mouths at once.

The memory causes my lips to turn upward in a half smile as I remember how he looked, like a chipmunk, with his cheeks bulged out ridiculously and his mouth puckered. But the small smile quickly quivers and then collapses completely as tears sting my eyes and a lump forms in my throat and I remember, I remember that Wally is _gone_.

A small breeze rustles the needles on the pine trees that slightly obscure my vision of the funeral. I take in a deep shuddering breath, not so quiet that it isn't noticeable, but not so loud that the group of heroes standing near Wally's coffin could hear me. I don't _want_ them to hear me, and I don't want to mourn with them. I prefer to mourn alone, away from all those pity-filled faces and fake words. I've always mourned in private. I mourned in private when my father died. I mourned alone when Brave Bow passed away. And every time there was a civilian casualty on one of my failed missions, I would shut myself in my room and mourn. I would mourn in private.

I would mourn alone.

Ollie wanted me to come to the funeral. He's the one that told me that the covert team was in trouble, he's the one who told me that they needed back-up, and he's the one who accompanied me to help Wally and the others. He was my shoulder to cry on as I saw Wally's body, he was the one who calmed me down after I woke up screaming, my mind tortured with nightmares.

I told him that yes, I would go to the funeral. But I told him that he wouldn't see me, because I didn't want to be seen. I told him that I wanted to go alone.

Speaking of Ollie, I can see him from where I stand. Black Canary is with him, which doesn't surprise me. The two are about as close as you could get, and besides, almost every Leaguer is here. As I look more, I realize there's only one person here who's not a superhero, and that's Wally's Aunt Iris. I see how that would be complicated; Kid Flash is dead, and so is Wally West, which means they could only pick one person to have a funeral for. I guess they picked Kid Flash, which I sort of dislike. Kid Flash and Wally are one person, not two different people.

I glance around the crowd again, and a hollow feeling washes over me. I was right the first time; there are no non-superheros here except Iris. I feel like cursing and screaming and shouting. Because there's only one non-superhero here, when there should be three. Wally's father didn't attend his funeral. _That stupid bastard!_ Neither did his mom. _Bitch._

How could they do that? Not go to their only son's funeral? How could the _live_ with themselves after doing that?

_How could they? How could they? How could they?_ I chant the words over and over in my head, using the steady rhythm as something to hold on to. _How could they? How could they? How could they?_ Eventually, the words change. _How could you? How could you? How could you?_

_ How could you not have been strong enough to save him?_

_ How could you not have been there for him when he needed you the most?_

_ How could you have _ignored_ him for the past months?_

_ How could you not have told him goodbye, and that you love him so much, and that you don't know how you're going to survive without him?_

I sink to my knees, unable to control myself anymore. My whole body trembles with guilt, with frustration, with anger, with remorse, with sadness, with regret, with so many emotions I'm having trouble keeping track of all of them. I keel over on the ground and just sob, the dirt pressing into my cheek, dead pine needles poking at my lifeless body. Eventually, I cry myself out, and just lie there, my whole body aching with a chilling numbness.

I'm here...but at the same time...I'm not here. I flicker between tortured memories and reality, mixing the two together until it's impossible to tell them apart. I'm here. I can smell the scent of pine from the deep green trees that surround me. But I'm not here. Because I can smell the metallic taste of blood. I'm here. I can see the pure white marble coffin through the copse of trees that my form is shrouded in. I'm not here. I can see his body, laying spread-eagle on the ground. I'm here. I can hear the soft murmur of Barry's words as he talks to the small group gathered slightly off to the side of Wally's coffin. I'm not here. Instead of Barry's low voice, I just hear screams. Shrill, tormented screams. The screams I let out when I saw him. Dead.

I'm here and I'm not here.

I'm dead inside, yet somehow alive.

I'm numb, and I can't feel a thing.

**Didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted to, but it turned out well. Originally the last paragraph was going to be the first, but I moved it. And about the part with Roy thinking about how he could have not told Wally he loved him, it's in a totally brother way. There are no pairings in this story, and anytime I use the phrase 'I love you,' it's in a brother/brother or sister/brother way (or in Barry's case, an uncle/nephew way or a father/son way.) Just wanted to clear that up.**

**If you can guess where/when Barry's POV is going to be taking place, you get a virtual cake. **

**Until next time!**

**~lilmissf**


	7. The Flash and Kid Flash: Acceptance

**Hey! You guys miss me? Sorry to leave all of you hanging there...but I had vacation stuff and...stuff...so this is Barry and Wally's chapter...and the final one! *Sniffle* Oh, I had so much fun writing this...**

**Disclaimer: Don't down YJ, though I would REALLY like you.**

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><p>"<em><strong>Run fast for your mother,<strong>_

_**Run fast for your father,**_

_**Run for your children,**_

_**For your sisters and brothers.**_

_**Leave all your love**_

_**And your longing behind,**_

_**You can't carry it with you if you want to survive."**_

**~The Dog Days Are Over (Florence and the Machine)**

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><p><strong>Barry<strong>

I can't believe what I'm seeing. I don't _want _to believe what I'm seeing. Because right now, I'm seeing him, in a coffin, his bright, cheerful, green eyes closed, his usually happy face placid and calm.

I'm seeing my _nephew_, _Wally_, in a _coffin._

I was never supposed to see this. He was supposed to see _me_ in a coffin. I was never supposed to see him, lying in a coffin, ever so still, not breathing at all.

I tear my eyes away from my nephew, no, my _son_, and glance around the crowd. All of the Justice League members are there, looking forlorn and drab without their bright, gaudy costumes. Only Wally is wearing his, but he's not wearing his mask, leaving his face exposed, uncovered, innocent. All of the Leaguers have taken off of their masks, not caring one bit about their secret identities. Even Batman and Robin have relinquished theirs, showing themselves as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson.

Iris takes my hand in hers, giving me a warm smile. I need it. So many negative emotions are pumping through my body like blood flows through my veins. Anger, denial, sadness, fury. They run around in a constant loop. Right now, I'm worried. Worried and anxious and scared. Because I know everyone wants me to speak.

At my _nephew's funeral._

_I can't do this,_ I think.

"Yes you can," Iris whispers back to me, making me start. I guess I whispered what I was thinking out loud.

"What should I say?" I don't know what to say. I can't think of what to say.

"Talk about Wally to them. Make them understand how special he was."

I don't reply to her, but I do step up to the polished mahogany podium. As soon as I do, everyone falls silent, their whispered conversations fading away. All eyes turn on me, and I wince slightly, feeling pressured under all those stares. I focus on one gaze.

_I can't do this,_ I tell him silently.

_You can_, Bruce replies.

_I can't,_ I insist.

_You can. Do it for Wally._

I inhale sharply and begin.

"Wally...he wouldn't want us...to be like this. He would want us to be happy. That's all he ever wanted. For us...to be happy. I remember...one day...I was in the kitchen and he just walked in with the biggest smile on his face, and he came over and hugged me. I asked him what he was so happy about, and he just told me that he was happy that he had such great friends and family. Wally...he was such a naturally happy person, always trying to cheer up another person even if it meant he was unhappy. I swear to God, if he walked into a room, everyone in the room would smile. He just lit up everything and gave it life, he just did it, and no one even asked him to. He just did things that would make other people happy without any reason. God, I love him for doing that. It made me rethink how I was acting as a hero." I glance around at the people in the crowd, most of them sobbing quietly. "He made us all question what we were doing and how we could do it better. He turned us into better people, without even meaning to. Sure, he was mischievous, and bull-headed, and a prankster at heart, those characteristics staying with him as both Kid Flash and Wally, but we all needed a little laughter and happiness with what we were dealing with. He really was a special person, and I know our lives will never be the same without him."

I cleared my throat and stepped down from the podium, a tear trickling down my cheek. I didn't even bother to wipe it away. It shows how torn up I am inside, it shows everyone how my heart breaks into a billion pieces every time I look at his body in that dreaded coffin.

More tears break flood down my face as I try to comprehend the thought that I'll never see my smiling nephew again.

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><p><strong>Wally<strong>

It could have been any of them.

It could have been Aqualad.

It could have been Superboy.

It could have been Artemis.

It could have been Miss Martian.

It could have been Red Arrow.

It could have been Robin.

_It could have been any of them._

But without Aqualad, we would have fallen apart.

Without Superboy, we wouldn't be as strong in battle.

Without Artemis, we wouldn't have any spirit or passion.

Without Miss Martian, we would be cold, ruthless, unforgiving.

Without Red Arrow, we would forget what we were fighting for.

Without (God forbid) Robin, we would have gone _insane_.

So it could have been _any of them._

It could have been Aqualad...

Or Superboy...

Or Artemis...

Or Miss Martian...

Or Red Arrow...

Or Robin...

Anyone of them could have died.

But it was _me._

I'm the one that died.

And I'm perfectly fine with that.

Why?

Because their lives are worth more then mine, and honestly? I couldn't live without any one of them.

So it was me.

It wasn't them.

It was me.

If it was anyone but me, we wouldn't be okay. I wouldn't be okay.

But it was me.

So I know they will be.

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><p><strong>Props to all who guessed right! VIRTUAL CAKE FOR YOU GUYS! This chapter is rather depressing, right? Yep. Anyways, thanks so much for sticking with me through this, guys! I'd like to thank everyone who favoritedalerted this story, and everyone who favorited/alerted me as an author. **

**I'd also like to thank my AWESOMAZING reviewers: AliantDarkShadows, Dai Rin, Lolin' Girl, BleakRemembrance, Nerdy Ninja in Training, Fallenarchangel, BlackClaw566, Penny ToughGirl, Adoglover5, Midnightvioletroseingins, Rowanfall, BT4Ever, LadyDragonfly123, Redzoo13, NobodiesBusiness, The Sun Will Shine Clear, and the four anonymous reviews I have recieved! Thanks a bunch, guys! (Also thanks to anyone who reviews after this...)**

**So this is lilmissfashionista, signing off...**

**...for now. :)**

**HUGGLES!**

**~lilmissf**


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